I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
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Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
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Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
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