my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
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