she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
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Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
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I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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