Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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