and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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