Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
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You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
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What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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