I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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