I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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