Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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