why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize