I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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