My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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