I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize