I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize