I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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