watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
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