did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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