VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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