is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize