The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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