About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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