don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Farmville is her only friend.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
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i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
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Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
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