Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Randomize