i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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