I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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