I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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