He passed out mid-signature
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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