you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
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