is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
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Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
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