Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
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