Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize