I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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