you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize