Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
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