I need help removing her.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
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she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
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i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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