is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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