I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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