And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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