ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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