mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
