I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize