im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize