she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
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