if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
he's gonorrhea incarnate
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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