you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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