How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
the condom got lost in my hair
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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