Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Randomize