What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize