so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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