which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
whose ass print is on the piano?
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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